When you sent me here you sent all that pain here too." "No, please," I said, shaking my head. "All those years, so much pain. But I took it all, I'm strong. We're strong. You knew I never went away, couldn't go away. I'm you, you're me, why can't you accept that?" "I never meant to hurt you." "I know, you did what you had to do. But that wasn't without consequence. All those years, if only you could have let me out. I know why you couldn't, but now we're paying for it. All those years, so much pain, so much anger, so afraid to let anyone close for fear that they'd find out the truth. So afraid that they'd see me." "That's all done now," I said defensively. "Is it? Then why are you doing it again?" "Doing what?" "Pushing him away." "What does that have to do with anything?" I demanded. "Everything. What are you afraid of, him or me?" "I'm not afraid!" "Aren't you? I'm changing, are you willing to see that?" "Changing?" "Yes," she said, and in literally the blink of an eye she went. I jumped back inside and shut the door in panic. The car slowly circled around the lot towards where I had parked, but then turned on the the exit to the main road. The fact that I did not chicken out now really shows me hove strong the urge the do this stuff is. After only a minute I again stepped out of the car - locked the car - through the key inside and - stood completely still. Then I did it! I closed the var door. The click from the locks was something I will remember for some time. My only way to get home now would be to and walk. For two miles. Stark naked!I had to cross a main road at a traffic light and a car was approaching. I am not sure, but the driver/passenger(s) might have seen me. Then I walked along a walking path behind some apartment buildings. The feeling of exposure - of being stark naked and a long way from home- was making me head spin and I was shivering, not only from the chilly temperature. Below a light post I stopped and masturbated a few minutes just.
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